WTF – Wedding Industry

Dear Wedding Industry –

I respect the fact you make billions of dollars off chicks that want the fairytale day.  I think it’s awesome headpieces cost $525 a pop and TLC has an entire series allowing viewers to gawk at shallow bitches choosing their wedding gowns.

Please know, I am on board.  I *agree* there should be endless options for brides who go ape shit when designing their day for them, by them.

But do you know what I can’t get behind?  Bridesmaid Dress Sizing.

Bridesmaids are the Supremes to Diana Ross in white.  We are ok with this fact. When we accept the honor of standing up beside you, we understand we are chorus girls on your very special day as an ingénue.  And we will dress accordingly.  But does that mean, we should be degraded and horrified by the fascist size chart?  Should my DD breasts dictate a size 20 gown?

This is not the 1950’s – I don’t give a shit that Marilyn Monroe may or may not have been size 14.

I am a normal red meat eating American girl who occasionally overindulges in mac and cheese (with truffles, last night) and an ‘oops’ bottle of red wine.  Sure, I could drop ten pounds.

But I am not a size 20.

There’s nothing wrong with being a plus sized gal.  I’ve shopped at Lane Bryant a time or two.  Those of us with curves know size ain’t nothing but a number.  But why, when it’s time to do my duty as a bridesmaid, I have to be punished for not being a size 2?  The industry size chart is demoralizing. It’s flat out insane. Barbie, with her measurements of 39″ bust, an 18″ waist, 33″ hip, has been blasted for years.  She’d top out at 110 lbs. , likely be anorexic and unable to walk upright.  She would also be advised to buy a size 14 at Bill Levkoff bridesmaids.  SO what the fuck?

We are all flesh and blood women, who cannot be defined by a black and white size chart.  Just because my tits measure four sizes bigger than my ass doesn’t mean I should be forced to spend the price of the piece of shit dress on alternations.

Make the chart mirror real sizing.  I’ll be way more excited to purchase a dress dictated for my wear if I’m not mind fucked before I even put it on.  Or until then let all conscientious  brides in the future pick ‘off the rack dresses’ for their bridesmaids.  Those are the ones that can be worn again and fit truer to size.  And exist in nature.

— Miss T

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